The following are two scripts for setting a “No Marijuana” rule. 
What elements are missing in Rule Setting #1?
What crucial element is missing in Rule Setting #2?
Come to the lecture and skill building session on April 7th to find out!
 
RULE SETTING CONVERSATION #1:
 
Parent:  I don’t want you to smoke marijuana.
 
Child:  Why not?
 
Parent:  It’s bad for you. It can be a gateway to other drug use.  It is often laced with more dangerous and addictive drugs.  Plus, they have done studies to say that it affects your brain’s ability to function.
 
Child:  That’s weird, because some kids at school said there were kids who did it who were straight “A” students.
 
Parent:   Well, that can be true, but you never know who the drug is going to affect and if you use marijuana, you’ll be much more likely (4 times more likely!) to try more dangerous drugs.  So please don’t ever do it, okay?
 
RULE SETTING CONVERSATION #2:
 
Parent:   I want you to know that we have a family rule…we expect that you will not smoke marijuana.
 
Child:   Why?
 
Parent:  We believe it’s harmful and it leads to even more harmful drugs, and you can never be sure if you will end up having a long term drug problem that begins with marijuana.
 
Child:   I’ve heard about kids that have used it and are straight “A” students.
    
Parent:   That MAY be true, but we would be extremely upset and disappointed in you if we knew you had.
 
Child:   Really? …Hey, did you do it when you were a kid? I thought everybody did it.
 
(Here parent has a CHOICE about disclosure depending on the child’s developmental level—more about this on April 7th)
 
Parent:    The issue is not what I did, but the issue is our family rule:
Marijuana is so much more dangerous today—it is twice as strong– than it was when I was a kid, and I saw enough examples of kids I knew who smoked and made their lives much more difficult because of smoking marijuana. Also, now there have been studies done on marijuana’s effect on the brain that show smoking definitely effects the way your brain functions.

But more important than these reasons, is that I want you to know that we have a “no smoking marijuana” rule, and we’ll be very upset and disappointed in you if our rule it broken.  Like our other family rules, it’s a rule based on our desire to protect you and keep you safe.
 
IF the parent chooses to disclose because he/she determines that it won’t be harmful to the child to disclose parental history of use:
 
Parent:    Yes I did…but there are two reasons why we’ve made a no marijuana rule: the drug is different now: marijuana is twice as strong (twice as dangerous) today than it was then. AND smoking it affected my life in a negative way.  (For example, it took my focus off of college applications at a time when I should have been concentrating on that.)

But, more important than the reasons I’m giving you, is our expectations of you.  I want you to know that we have a rule that doesn’t allow smoking marijuana, and we’ll be very upset and disappointed in you if our rule is broken. It’s a rule based on our desire to protect you and keep you safe.